Values, Beliefs, Morals: The Three Building Blocks of Your Foundation
As mentioned previously, the fundamental building blocks of our personality include our values, beliefs and morals. Let’s take a distinct look at each of these and see how the work together to make us the person we are.
Values
Values can be describes as the attributes that define us as a unique individual. These attributes come mainly from who raised us and how. Our parents, like it or not, have a huge influence on who we become and our stem family supports that influence. It may even be said that we inherit certain attributes from our parents and these are reinforced by our family.
Think about some of the earliest lessons you learned and how they were taught to you. One of the first things that most toddlers learn is “no” and “mine.” These responses help to defend us and preserve things that are valued by us. No sooner than we learn these words, our parents correct and teach us “yes” and “share.” At this point we have two options, obey and learn the lesson the easy way or disobey and learn the lesson the hard way. Think back to how many of your lessons that you had to learn the hard way.
The next point to discuss is how willing we are to learn. There is probably no deed that you have done that hasn’t been done by someone in the past. Another of the first warnings we teach children is “HOT.” We are not the first one to have touched something hot and got burned, but we have all been burned at one time or another, some of us several times even. Why can’t we learn from others experiences, why must we learn these things first hand? Is our experience of “HOT” different from others? If we are reluctant to learn from the experiences of others, we must at least be open to learn from our experiences, if not, we won’t be long for this world.
What values do you still hold onto that you were taught as a child? If you were brought up in a kind and loving home, you are most likely a kind and loving person. If you were raised in a dysfunctional home you probably have or are dealing with some issues of dysfunction in your own life. Family traditions are something that we learn when we are young and cling tightly to as we get older.
Think too of some of the values that you have made a conscious decision to discontinue. You may have had a parent or family member that dealt with addictions and observed first-hand the devastation that behavior of that type caused. You too may have dealt with addictions and have found strength in recovery to change something that was common into something that is now forbidden. Remember, that choice is yours to make.
How strong are the values you cling to? Are your values deeply rooted? Do you know why they are your values? Do you honor your values at face value or do you doubt them at times. Only you have the right and ability to adjust or change your values. Like the exercise I challenged you with in the introduction, I challenge you now to do the same and identify and list your values. Look closely at them and determine if they truly are yours or if you are just abiding by another’s set of values.
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Keep this list at hand and add or subtract to it as you work through this process of mapping your journey.
Mapping Your Journey 