What Allows You to be Happy/Sad

As I looked at naming this section, I wasn’t sure if it should be “What Makes You Happy/Sad.” So many times we are reminded that it is ourselves that are given the charge of making us happy. We can’t rely on others to provide this special feeling but rather it is entirely dependent upon ourselves to choose to be happy, or sad for that matter. So, I am standing on my decision to choose the word “allow” to be the operative. I would be ignorant to believe that nothing externally can affect our mood, the smell of fresh flowers, birds in the spring, or even the first freshly fallen snow, all have the ability to positively affect our mood and as such, allows us to experience a greater sense of happiness. The true can be said of the emotion of sadness too. We can’t point the finger of blame to people for the main and sole reason for us being unhappy or sad, but again events can lead us to being sad. The loss of a loved one, news of an unexpected health problem, or even an emotionally charged film can increase the feeling of sadness we encounter. When you are faced with things that make you unhappy, there are four questions that you can ask that may help you overcome those negative feelings: Is what is happening to me within my control? Is it something that I can avoid? Is it something I can change? Or, is it you? Most often you will find that you have more control of the situation than you thought you did. Sometimes it is just a simple change of your negative mindset to one that is more positive and productive. Notice that I said simple, do not confuse that with something that is easy, if it were easy to do, no one would experience the negative emotions and consequences they impose.

 

I am not one that believes that we should charge our unconscious mind with negative thoughts or damaging self-talk, but rather that we concentrate more on only allowing positive thoughts and self-talk to be the message our mind receives. When it comes to information and messages that our mind receives, we tend to be our biggest enemy. Nobody is harder on us than we are on ourselves. We need to be extremely proactive to monitoring the self-talk we feed our brains. It is said that even if the thought is not uttered out loud, the seed of a negative thought once planted in the sub-conscious will grow for an eternity. According to the online article, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World © 2014 by Jennifer Read Hawthorne

 

“We humans, it seems, have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. But according to some research, as many as 98 percent of them are exactly the same as we had the day before. Talk about creatures of habit!  Even more significant, 80 percent of our thoughts are negative.” If 80 percent of our thoughts each and every day are negative, that is an incredible amount of negative seeds that we sow into our subconscious mind over a lifetime. Doesn’t it make sense that we need to work diligently to change that pattern?

 

What is it that makes you smile first thing in the morning? Is it the face of your spouse? The puppy lying quietly on the bed? The birds singing outside your window? The warmth and comfort of your bed? Take a moment to discover and ponder on the less apparent things that bring you happiness not only in the morning but throughout the day and at the end of the day.

 

I challenge you to take some time and reflect on some of the things that we can consciously do to allow more happiness into our lives. I want you to write out ten things that you can personally do each day to infuse an extra dose of happiness into your life. These don’t have to be huge things, but rather simple things that are easily found. Write them down and then you will be more apt to experience these little happy pills on a more regular basis.

 

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10.__________________________________________________

 

Because we have the ability to think into existence what we want to have, this little exercise will allow you to more readily notice the little things in life that allows you to have more happiness.  You will also notice that it is easier to find joy in the small things every day.