Doesn’t it feel good when you have a sense of a job well done? Remember back when you were a child and your parents told you how proud they were of you? These types of feelings are what affirms out values, beliefs, morals and even our self-worth. Many of us now, when paid a compliment, we feel uneasy, we play it down as being no big deal, or were doubt the sincerity of the person who gave the compliment. What has changed?

 

When we were children, we thrived on someone being proud of us, we worked hard to get noticed and receive a compliment. These things made us feel good. Now that we are older, why is it that we don’t believe that we need that anymore? In fact, we probably need it more now than ever before. We have had many years of hearing bad news, being disappointed, and negative self-talk. Why don’t we want a compliment or a pat on the back for something we truly deserve? It has been said that, “One ‘Oh crap’ wipes out the ‘Atta-Boy’s’” so we need to build up a supply of atta-boys to keep our affirmation account from turning negative.

 

Have we become hardened and feel that a pat on the back is degrading in some ways or is it our stubbornness that tells us we are to rough and tumble to be in need of such childish acts of affirmation?

 

I find it interesting that people who take compliments well are the ones that more readily dish them out too. How often do you give a sincere compliment to someone, affirming their value to you? When was the last time you told yourself that you are of value and compliment yourself? We need to put affirmations and compliments into our daily practices, give them out freely, but also at the same time be sincere. An insincere compliment is really just a put down in disguise.

 

For an assignment, let’s see how we can implement affirmation into our daily lives and rituals. Make a list of 5 people that you feel are due an affirming compliment form you, List the person and the compliment due them:

 

Name                                                               Compliment

__________________________________     _________________________________________

__________________________________     _________________________________________

__________________________________     _________________________________________

__________________________________     _________________________________________

__________________________________     _________________________________________

 

Now that you have made this list, go ahead and pay that person the compliment they are due. Be sincere and expect nothing in return and see the expression on their faces. It may be that they blush, smile, giggle, say thank you, return a compliment or even ask “What do you want from me?” Don’t wait for a conversation to start, just make your compliment, smile and go on your way. I think you will be surprised what happens next.

 

Now that you have had an opportunity to make a compliment and you know how it feels to give one out, give yourself a sincere compliment for brightening the day of someone who just may have been looking for something like that to get them through the day!

 

By the way… The was a very nice gesture on your part, good job!