Every cloud has a silver lining, that is what people say all of the time. I for one do believe in this idea, but the problem comes in, when we have to make a decision to stick our head into the cloud, risk getting wet, and not knowing how far into the cloud we have to go, that prevents many of us from taking the chance to look for the silver lining.  How far are you willing to go? How dedicated to the mission are you? Are you ready, willing, and able to do what is needed to be done to see all the good that is around us each and every day?

I know that you have been told numerous times that you are in control of your happiness and that each morning you get to decide how your day will be by the attitude you choose have when you wake up each morning. If we start the day in a good mood, we can set the positive standard for the day, and if we start the day in a bad mood, well you get the idea. The thought of getting up in the morning, putting my feet on the floor, standing up and walking around the bed, stubbing my toe, and screaming “THANK GOD I HAVE A BED!!!” or , “If it weren’t for my freshly severed toe, I would not be able to appreciate the pain I am experiencing.” really doesn’t appeal to me all that much. Pain is pain, whether I have a bed, a toe, or a positive outlook or not.

On the other side of the spectrum we also have those who find nothing but acid in their apple cider. Every morning they walk into the office as though wading through  a river of vomit and then they start to share their misery with everyone they can back into a corner until the whole world is as miserable as they are.

We need to find that happy median that allows us to experience joy and yet have a feel for reality, to know discomfort without allowing it to control our lives or the lives of others. A positive mindset will give you a mental boost that will make the drudgery of a common day less but it will not remove every displeasure you may have to face. Oh, and a little padding on the leg of the bed will help too.

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What does it take to become successful? Some say it is luck, and those that say that is because they have only seen the success part of the story and not all of the back breaking, mind numbing, sleepless nights of worry, behind the scenes drudgery that went into making the successful person appear to be lucky.

Speaking of luck, what is luck? You can find a definition in Webster’s Dictionary, but that doesn’t quite put the right perspective on it. Here is my equation for luck (math nerd that I am)

LUCK = Hard Work + Persistence +Perseverance + Thought + Intentionality + Sticktoitness + Determination + Dedication + Myriad of Unforeseen Difficulties

LUCK is not something that comes easily ask the guy that you think is lucky.

The first given in my LUCK equation is Persistence, an I put it there for a particular reason, without making it one of your most focused actions, you will not see the results that you are looking for. Persistence is something that has to come from within yourself, somewhere deep. Persistence is the ability to keep moving forward, even when the obstacle ahead appears insurmountable. Persistence is something that will drive you further and faster.

Persistence is action, and actions are what is needed to be successful. It is easier to act your way into a feeling than it is to feel your way into an action. Have you ever procrastinated on a project? What was the end result? If you are like me, you probably put it off until the last minute and then by sure panic, you started the project and hopefully you completed it. But, regardless of the outcome, if you completed it, it was action that got you there , not feeling.

The next time you are stuck, and trying to get the motivation to get something done, just start. I think you will be amazed at how much easier and how much momentum can be found once you just start.

If you are persistent enough, you will prevail, and you can be successful!

Have you ever noticed how when a person is really making a name for him or herself that they tend to have a lot of friends and fans? Why is that? Well, in my opinion it is because others want what they can’t obtain on their own. Others just don’t have what it takes to discipline themselves and buckle down to making a success for themselves. They are like racecar drivers, they are trying to pull a draft from the car in front of them. By catching a draft, there is a decrease in air resistance and the care behind doesn’t have to work as hard, use as much fuel, or expend as much horsepower. People can be this way too, we want things to be as easy as possible and to get ahead without doing all the leg work as required to do so.

How do you deal with someone who is riding on your coattails? My thought is to pull over and let them lead for a while. Once they are put into a position that they are not comfortable to undertake, or are not competent in doing, they will tire easily and fall back. Most of the time they will will fall back far enough that they can’t ride your coattails and have to either do things themselves or rely on others to pull them ahead. Eventually, they may be back on your coattails, but you can do the same thing again or this time, work with them and help mentor them. They obviously want to get further ahead than they are and maybe just don’t have the right tools to do so. This is where you can come in as a mentor.

Those who are riding on your coattails are not always bad people but maybe are just not quite equipped to face the challenge just yet. Only you can judge that. IF you try to mentor them and they still are not ready to apply themselves, you need to distance yourself from them.

So, as you look back in your rear-view mirror, do you see someone drafting you or riding your coattails? Now, take a good look out your windshield and make sure that you are not doing the same thing to others. If you see that someone is in front of you, try pushing instead of riding and see how that can make you a better candidate for mentoring and getting further ahead on you journey of life.

 

There are many people that are standing along your route, some cheer you on, others would like nothing more than to see you fail. Don’t spend too much energy on worrying about those who would like to see you fall flat on your face, it really is not business of yours what people think about you, good or bad. You need to understand that some people just will never take a liking to you no matter what you do or how wonderful you are. Spend your energy thinking about those that support you, these are the people that will help you see ahead.

Your supporters are the ones that will give you information on what is ahead, because often they have the advantage of not being personally involved in your journey and they can give you an unbiased opinion of your situation. The supporters that you have right now didn’t just show up magically, you have nurtured them in a very special way, you have given them enough of a glimpse of who you are to garner their attraction to you. As you continue on your journey, more people will come to join your supporters through the recruiting that happens just by word of mouth. The more you do to catch the attention of people and the more of what you do that intrigues them, the more they will start to gather around to see what all of the commotion is about.

Just as being intriguing helps to gather more people to your cause, you can also lose people by not living up to their expectations or by offending them. Again, what they think of you is none of your business. It is said that you reputation is not yours to own, it is rather what other people think of you, their opinion, and you can’t control other people’s opinions. What you do have control over is your character. Character is what you believe, what you value, and what controls your thoughts and actions. This is what you have total control over. Seldom will you see someone of good character be of bad reputation. These to attributes are not congruent with each other and eventually this will become transparent and people will see through you, and that will be of no benefit to your cause. Always be of good character and your reputation will follow.

Your supporters are the ones that know your character and know that it is good, even if your reputation is slightly tarnished. They are the ones that will help you to see ahead and become that truly unique individual that we all are.

I would like to take some time to say thank you to all who have taken the time to read and follow along on my journey to putting some things to work in my life. I have enjoyed writing the posts and will continue to do more.

I would greatly appreciate your comments, honesty is welcome and expected.

If you enjoyed reading these articles, please tell your friends. If you would like information on how you can bring “Mapping Your Journey” to your work, organization, or club, please contact me at brian.fuder@gmail.com and I would love to get something going that would be tailored to meeting your needs.

Thanks again and remember, we are all unique individuals, just like everyone else.

Brian