Thomas Paine-“I love a man that can smile in trouble, can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflections.”

Growth is not always an enjoyable process, sometimes it hurts. If we take Mr. Paine’s advice and keep a positive attitude, grow during our difficulties and then take some time to reflect and learn from it, we will experience growth.

In my book “Mapping Your Journey” I state, “Everything that occurs to us over the course of living is extremely beneficial to our development, and every experience we encounter and endure helps to build the person that we evolve into.”

Growth Happens, make it positive!

#JohnMaxwell

Today is Thankgiving Eve 2021.

So many things have changed in the past year, even in the past two years. We have been through the grips of a global pandemic, times of civil unrest, riots, change in our political environment, even the evolution of teams and zoom meetings as an industry accepted means of conducting business.

Through all of this, are we truly thankful? Are we appreciative of what we have, are we content to have what we have? Are we experiencing joy?

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

This year as we sit down to participate in a yearly tradition of eating until we are uncomfortable, let’s take time to reflect and ponder on what we have and not on what we don’t have or what we wished we had. Let’s not dwell on the uncertainties in our world and our lives but rather on the gifts and joys we have around our tables. Celebrate the people in the chairs around our tables and commemorate the people that have left empty chairs and anticipate the chairs that will be filled with new family and friends in the future.

Life is good, and for that we can all be thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Brian

I hope that our journey along the path of this part of your life has been fruitful, enjoyable, and of value to you. We have talked about know yourself, your thoughts, your strengths, you’re your limitations. We have taken a look deep inside at what it is that makes us tick and how we have become the truly unique individual that we are, just like everyone else. God made us all perfectly as he has planned, what we do with what God has created, is in part up to us, because one of God’s greatest gifts to ourselves in the gift of free will.

We have studied the need to know where we are, where we are planning to go, and the route we plan to take. Not every plan works out just the way we would like it to, but nonetheless it does work out. We have never faced something so terrible that we haven’t survived it. We are here reading this aren’t we?

Life is a journey and we learn, grow and gain experience and wisdom along the way. We need to make time to squeeze the life out our lives. I was once asked this question, “What comes out of you when you are squeezed under pressure?” I hope that it is something much more elegant than bodily fluids. I hope it is wisdom, and courage to face the problem head on and succeed, never to give up. “What comes out of you when you are squeezed?”

Who we spend out lime with really is a good indication of who we truly are as a person. We all have good people that we know and spend time with, can we add more to that list and may cull out or limit the time we spend with others that don’t help us grow?

In closing, I want to let you know that life is a journey, and no matter what we will be successful, we all end our life’s race in the same place. Those of us with a faith in God and Jesus Christ, have so much more to look forward to beyond this life that the end is a welcome beginning. Understand there is no failure, only ways that didn’t quite work out the way we intended them to work out. Failure is not a person, failure is an event. Don’t let an event influence the person you are, you are much more than that. You are a life, a creation, in fact you are quite a miracle.

You are a truly unique individual… just like every one of God’s creations!

Blessings

 

 

A cheerleader cheers for the team regardless if they are winning or losing, in fact I believe the cheerleaders are more for the crowd of fans than for the players. A good player should be so attuned to the game at hand that he is not even aware that the cheerleaders are even cheering.

It is nice to have someone cheering for you and it is nice to think you have their support but in reality, a cheerleader is not doing much to help you along your journey other than making noise. Cheerleaders don’t give advice to the team, and they surely don’t counsel the coaching staff during the game. Cheerleaders and the team don’t even practice together for the most part. When was the last time you saw a cheerleader with a headset on, or looking into the replay hood, or challenging a call? That is not the job of the cheerleader, and that is probably a good thing.

When a hard decision must be made, do you want the cheerleader saying “Go, Go, Go, Fight, Fight, Fight, Win, Win, Win.” Or would you prefer a coach giving you counsel from the sideline on what he has been observing and what he believes would be in your best interest from his knowledge of the game?

There is a lot to be said about moral support and true, if enough people are cheering for you, you can draw energy and encouragement from the crowd, but my preference would be again, to seek wise counsel and rely on the wisdom, knowledge, and experience of the coaches and counsellors who have been where I am seeking to go.

“Give me a “W”, Give me an “I”, give me an “N,”

WIN WIN WIN!!!

Every good team or athlete has a coach. A coach is someone that watches how the person is performing, looking for good attributes and also for areas where improvement can be made. Coaches are people who will give you good counsel, because they want to see you succeed and also because they are staking their reputation on the line. A coach will work with you to keep you winning and provide valuable input for when you are not being as successful as you want.

There are different types of coaches, sports coaches, business coaches, personal coaches, etc. and they work with your best interest in mind. A coach is not going to hold your hand but rather assist you in standing on your own two feet and facing the challenges before you. A coach is not always going to say the nice things but often the niceties is not what you need, you need a dose of deep reality and a coach will not fear telling you where you stand.

Coaches come with a varying degree of education, knowledge, experience, and background. A coach is never a “One size fits all” situation, you need to be able to relate to a coach and he with you. The relationship needs to be one of trust and understanding, confidence and confidentiality. If you choose to work with a coach and you feel that things are not working the way you had intended, don’t be worried about changing coaches, a good one will understand, and a poor one will become offended.

A really neat fact about coaches? Most of the good ones have a coach. It is said everybody needs a coach and every coach needs to coach and be coached. If you haven’t worked with a coach in the past but would like to consider it, know that most initial consultations are free, and it is a great way to see how well you and her fit together.

Be ready to be challenged in ways that you may not have been challenged in before, be ready to take a hard look at yourself and learn to see yourself through the trained eyes of your coach. You might just be surprised at just how good you really look.

Counselors are the people that you can count on to provide the words of encouragement, and the guidance that will help you navigate the best route to follow to reach your goals. Remember back to a time when someone gave you some very wise words of counsel, they said something that really resonated with you and it stuck with you, and you continue to use that guidance in your life today. Counselors, unlike advisors, are there to give you the tips and tricks that will be beneficial in succeeding in your attainment of you goal. If we take the conversation I had with my wife from the previous section and have that same conversation with a counselor, you will see a noticeable difference:

“I think I’m going to write a book.” (notice I did not call him “Honey”)

“That is a wonderful idea, I have written several books myself, and find it quite refreshing to put my thoughts on paper.”

“I have never written a book before, my spelling isn’t the greatest, and my grammar is not the best, better than my wife’s, but not the best.”

“Oh, they have a wonderful new tool called spellcheck, use it myself quite often.”

“Is it hard to write a book? What about getting published?”

“It’s not easy, but it doesn’t mean it is difficult. There will be times when you wonder if you made the right decision, but in the end it will all be worth it. Let me share with you some of the tips and tricks that I found useful in writing my books. First, you need to … “

See how different that conversation went? It was based more on how to help me become successful and not so much about how to keep from getting hurt. A good counselor will provide needed information, details, and based on their experience, maybe even some people that can assist you further.

Whenever you decide to venture out on a new journey, it is always best to seek good counsel and take the information they offer you and put it to good use. They have the experience, knowledge, wisdom, and even some battle scars to share with you that will help you make a much more informed decision and eventually help you decide if the journey is meant for you to take or if you would be better off, putting that idea aside for now.

The value a good counselor can add to you is priceless, be sure you return the favor and pay it forward as often as you can.

We all have advisors in our lives, people that are trying to protect us from hurt, suffering, bad ideas, or humiliation. These people tend to be those that love us the most, our spouses, parents, close friends. They truly mean well and would never try to lead us astray, but the have blinders on sometimes and are not really getting gthe whole picture that you are trying to present.

Let’s look at a typical advisor situation, one that is close to home for me:

“Honey, I think I am going to write a book.”

“Oh, that’s nice dear. Don’t forget to take the dog to the groomers.”

“No, I am serious, I am thinking about writing a book.”

“Well, that’s interesting, you have never written a book, in fact, I have never seen you write much of anything. You aren’t much of a speller, and your grammar isn’t very much good.”

“There is a wonderful new tool called spellcheck.”

“You don’t know anything about writing a book, what would you write about anyways? I think you would become bored with it pretty quick and frustrated. And, there is no guarantees that you would sell any of them, and what about printing, and editing, and, and, and, and,”

“Ok dear, I think I will mow the lawn, I am pretty good at that… I guess.”

See where the conversation lead, to questioning abilities, not because my abilities where in question, but rather my inexperience and lack of knowledge. So, logic kicks in and the odds of success are measured, and she really doesn’t want to see me hurt by not being successful. All the best intentions are involved here, and I really can’t argue many of them, except her mastery of grammar.

Advice is an odds game, where the chances of success are weighed against the probability of failure. In the math game, taking chances are seldom recommended as they can’t take into consideration many of the variables of success. Advice can be at times, much like an opinion, and opinions are like belly buttons, we all have one, and after birth, they serve no useful purpose. I have heard it said that you should take very few opinions when it comes to chasing dreams and goals. You can listen to them but, be careful how you allow them to work along your journey. Would you take advice on financial issues from a guy with a bum sign begging at an intersection, educational advice from a drop out, or fitness advice from someone who is overweight and unhealthy? We need to have advisors in our lives, they are there to help guide us, and they are also there to protect us, love us, and be faithful companions. We are also advisors in other’s lives too. Take advice with a grain of salt and apply it cautiously and do the same when giving advice. That is my advice.

It is said that you are the average of your five closest companions. If you look at this and ask yourself a couple of quick questions, I think you will find that it is quite true. Look at your five closest friends, if they all are successful, you probably are too. If your five closest friends are fit and in shape, you most likely are too. On the other hand, if your five closest friends are over-weight, if they are struggling with a marriage, or are dealing with an addiction, such as alcohol, you probably are too.

Sometimes the hardest part about growing and traveling your journey is understanding that the friends that got you to where you are today, are probably not the ones you need to get you to where you want to be tomorrow. As times change, as circumstances develop, and as you continue to grow, you need to have companions that will be able to travel along with you. You need people who can assist you when needed. Oprah once said, “Lots of people want to ride in your limousine, but what you need is people that will not only ride but ones who are willing to help push the limousine when it gets stuck. I have also heard that if you are the smartest person in the room… go to another room.

We all need friends, companions, but, we need to have good ones, so be choosy about who you allow to fill those positions. Your inner circle of friends needs to be thought of as your presidential cabinet, the people you trust most to help you through not only the rough times but also ones who can help you celebrate during the good times. As we look at some of the people that we have all had to interact with, keep in mind that you want to improve or raise your average, help raise other’s average too.

In our busy lives, we tend to schedule everything from doctor appointments to haircuts, from meetings to parties. Our schedules are bulging with activities, so many in fact that we wonder how we can possibly expect to meet even a portion of the demands that we place on ourselves. Our schedules are color coded, prioritized, with very little white space available for life to occur, and we are stretched to the extremes and over extended in so many ways that breathing is a task that we seldom have time for.

Do you plan and schedule your rest time? If we are moving all of the time, juggling life’s demands and never making plans to take care of ourselves, how long can we expect to keep this pace up? If we were as diligent about scheduling rest as we are about scheduling demands, how much healthier would all of us be. Our stress levels would be greatly reduced, our mental and physical health would be greatly increased, and we would most likely find the joy of living again.

A study has been conducted that states that more and more of Americans, especially those employed in professional positions are turning back more and more vacation every year, taking less and less time for themselves and their families. Maybe things and times are a changing and the extended family vacations are not the priority that they once were. More and more Americans are taking what some refer to as micro vacations. Rest breaks during the day that happen in, and coffee shops, cafes, and parks. We feel less stressed about taking a short 15 to 30-minute microvacation and not having to deal with the work that is involved before and after a long extended two-week period where our work just piles up and makes it unbearable to think about trying to dig out when we never were ahead of schedule to start with.

Unplugging from the day to day commitments of the workplace are not just a benefit that our employers feel obligated to provide, but it should be thought of as a necessary part of being a productive and satisfied employee.

You can only work a horse so hard before he refuses to obey and eventually you need to rely on the whip to garner his attention. A horse that is allowed to have regular breaks and rest periods will be much more productive and easier to handle than one that is pushed to his limits regularly. Are we really that different? I don’t believe that we are.

Working with a stopwatch is not an inference to working as fast a humanly possible, setting world land speed records in report writing or cutting hair. Rather, when talking about working with a stopwatch, I want you to consider how you spend your time while working. There is research that suggests that in an eight-hour day, the average worker is only productive for two hours and 53 minutes. What are we doing with the other 5 hours and 7 minutes? Well, productive ain’t exactly the word that is coming to mind right now. Let me share this with you too, your boss knows this also.

Work today in the 21 century is much different than in the past. We spend much more time in what is considered “mind work.” Mind work is the type of work where we are receiving data, processing this data, making decisions on how to proceed with this information and finally reexamining the process all over again. In centuries past we did back labor, now we do brain labor. It is hard for anyone to stay focused in a thinking activity for any real extended period of time. Think about TV, for every seven minutes of programming there is at least 3 minutes of advertising. So, our minds are constantly switching form active intake to passive exposure all the time. It has been said that it takes about 23 minutes for you to become re-engaged in your work activities after being interrupted from it. How can we improve on this statistic? First off, we need to eliminate distractions. Turn off your email notifications, your Facebook notifications, your alarm to feed your cows in Farmville. Allow yourself a set amount of time to be engaged in this type of activity and set a stopwatch so that you are reminded to get back to work. No one is going to deny you a little rest from time to time, but 5 hours a day on average? That equates to 1,300 hours a year and at $20 per hour, you are in reality stealing $26,000 from your boss each year. Have you thanked him?

What else can we do to improve our time spent working? Don’t become a slave to your email or your voicemail. Set aside time each morning and afternoon to do just those activities. When you are on a phone call, set a timer and see if you can keep your calls to under five minutes, set a timer too when checking your emails, so that you don’t find yourself out in the weeds playing just one more game of Candy Crush.

If you have a tendency to procrastinate, like I do, set a timer and make an agreement with yourself that you will give it all you have got for 15 minutes and see just how much you can actually get done in that amount of time. If 15 minutes is too daunting, start with five minutes and work up from there.

You have heard of the Pareto effect, or the 80-20 rule. In this instance, you will find that 80% of your results are obtained through 20% of your efforts. Doing just a couple of stopwatch activities will help you improve on your efficiencies at work and will also give you a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Ready! Set! Go!